life isn't as carefree as before,
realise i've been gone for like, a few months?
going through a bad period now..
the one thing that nobody likes..
a rocky relationship.
feel so disappointed, and stupid.
maybe its karma, cos im feeling the pain that i inflicted indirectly on someone in the past.
its the exact situation, some of u might be able to guess it, some might not.
actually, its not that exact, its just that the scenario is about the same.
infidelity.
and why is it stupid? cos i shouldnt be complaining. i deserve it.
yet that anger and disappointment still lingers within me.
come to think of it, i did expect it to happen, just that it came a lil too quick.
one thing i learnt from this lesson, nobody can be trusted. there's no one u can be fully dependent on.
cos at the end of the day, u're gonna be alone when tt person is gone.

what i can't accept, is the fact that you could bear to do that even when i apologised, even when you knew i was at home running a fever. all i wanted that night, was for u to accompany me cos i felt damn horrible. and i was blaming myself for depending on u, taking for granted to think that u were obliged to accompany me when i was sick cos u were my gf. i blamed myself for not being understanding, and not wanting u to have fun when i couldn't have it myself. i couldnt sleep that night, i kept reflecting on my attitude towards u, kept thinking why did i keep expecting u to be there when i knew u were tired too? i cried myself to sleep. that's how pathetic i am, serious.

yet u were out there having a great time.

how far can i push myself? laugh, and cry. laugh, and cry again.

pathetic.