feeling kinda down now. my plans seem to be getting further away from my goals. and its all because im not persistent enough. it really sucks when i hear something i dun wanna hear from someone who barely knows me but manages to hit the jackpot and say it out. i dun like their impression of me that i cant be independent, that i'm too spoilt and protected to do anything with my own abilities. or is it a fact? is this really bev? why am i getting influenced by what people think, putting myself down, hiding at home, not daring to try again?

ann and wei have got jobs, even des is working. jing is working and studying, fiona is working, hui is waiting for ns, ali is waiting for uni to start, sab is working, mel is studying. what about me? i'm staying at home, mapling, mobtv-ing, waiting for the stupid person to call me. should i just give up, and work for my parents? then what about my dreams? i backed out of the hotel interview, declined the icpas job, wtf am i doing man.

went to apply online for dbs and hsbc. but both servers are down. i really feel like crap lah. hmph!

maybe i should just go help out at the coffeeshop. the only thing worrying me is, everyday 6am have to reach there to do opening. how am i gonna wake up? lols. the only way is to maple til 5am. hahahah~

eh funny ah. feel much better now. at least im useful in a way that, i can help my parents out whenever they need a substitute. hahas consoling myself again -.-

ah tan! jiayou jiayou. study hard! muacks! *middle finger* x)