feeling kinda lost now..
i miss him a lot, and im scared of losing him.
dad keeps asking me to apologise, even aunty is on his side. feel guilty, guilty that i keep nagging, guilty that i initiated a breakup over a small matter, guilty that i said it when he was working, when he was at the stressest peak. instead of trying to be understanding, i made him even more stressed.. i hope its not too late, but some part of me tells me im losing him. yet another part of me tells me to give him time, to cool down and think about it. at least he didnt del our pic.. :)
am i giving myself false hope?
haha.. i admit, i like to nag, once i start i cant stop. its like eating cheezels! i think im really aunty la. im trying to change, really. i cant even nag at him now.. and i nagged at sab just now.. hahah i feel much better today, really better. cos mum and dad realised i was really down. they brought me and bro to centrepoint. they kept encouraging me, telling me its gonna be alright, just say sorry to him and dun kp him so much.. really glad, cos i thought they would be happy if we broke up, in the first place they didnt encourage me getting into a r/s. but now i think they kinda miss seeing joe at home too. my mum cant disturb him about his snoring.. thinking about it.. really makes me miss him even more. huggin the 1st turtle he bought me, to slp every night. its really killing me, cos it reminds me how good he was to me. even when i kept on having bad moodswings and kept venting it on him, he was there.. hais.. really down down down.. dun even have the mood to eat, to slp, to smoke, to even bite my nails..
im really sorry dearr..