went for class bbq at east coast, just got home. shaowen, xiangyao, shawn and ashley. we stayed back, chatted til 11+. it was good, though they kept nagging about smoking. talked to xy about someone, and somehow or rather, i really felt so guilty. thought about lotsa things, the past, the present, and my future. the tears nearly came, but i managed to hold them back. thats good. i realised that after all that has happened, i've learnt a lot. and i've learnt to control my emotions. it all depends on different perspectives. and the most important thing, is what i think about myself, not others. no matter how hard people try to pull me down, i should just ignore them, because they are insignificant to me. it does hurt, when people judge u. but deep down inside its still up to u, to choose either to believe in urself, or to just fall prey to their malice. cos its your life. its time for me to move on, but i keep looking back. the harder i try to let go, the deeper i fall into it. maybe im just too stubborn. i just don't wanna learn from my mistakes.

is there anyone who will lend me a shoulder?
for just 1 minute, that's all i need.