hey hey

back, haha. many things happened lately, feeling rather worn out now. some may look at me differently, some might be able to put themselves in my shoes and understand how i feel, why i chose this path. but its alright, its my life, and i choose what i wanna do, AND i'll face the consequences whatever it may be.

perhaps saying sorry wont help to remove the pain, but when i say it, i really mean it. i just wanna apologise for anything that i did wrong, cos i noe its partly my fault that things ended up this way. its up to anyone to believe it or not, i dun wanna care about what others say about me. its tiring to keep thinking about others when others dun giv a damn about my own feelings.

if u think that saying sorry can change everything, sad to say, no. i can forgive, but i'll never forget everything that happened. we can live our lives separately, or we can be frens. over the years, i've mastered the skill of pretending, pretending nothing has happened, pretending everythings alright, pretending to be ignorant. i can still pretend that we are just frens, but i must say again, i will never forget what happened. you can prolly say i'm rather fake, but isnt everyone fake as well? wearing a smile on their faces when deep inside they are feeling down. smiling and joking with someone that they wanna tear apart into pieces.

dun wanna bring up the past here, just wanna say that, whatever has happened has happened. theres no turning back. we can only look forward now, set our priorities right and focus on our goals. yes, its easy to say, but difficult to do. i myself cant stop procrastinating. haha.. but at least, lets just study hard now. theres only 1 year left, dont waste your time.

im tired of crying, crying and crying. not to gain sympathy, but sometimes, i just bottle everything up and i feel so so so frustrated. not with anyone, but myself. i cant seem to get things right. and right now, im actually supposed to do my SM proj, but i just cant help losing focus. there are so many things on my mind now, that i cant let go off.
tired of saying "i wish", so i guess i'll stop here for now.

i just wanna be alone.